They always look for me

There was this lady (I say “was” but she still “is”, she just isn’t around me anymore so I think of her in the past tense). She wouldn’t stop looking at me. Why? I don’t know. Who would want to look at me? Her. But why? It’s really weird and annoying when they do that. People that is, both ladies and gents. There has to be a reason for someone to look at me right?

You know I bet her reason was cause she’s an alien and was investigating me for a sinister reason. Like because they think I’m the leader of the world or something. I bet that’s it. It wouldn’t be the first time an alien had thought I was the leader of the world. Actually, it’s happened so much that I bet it’s definitely the reason she was looking at me.

I should wear a sign that says “I’m not the leader of the world!”

Waffle House Rant

I really like Waffle House.  It’s great.  Traveling for work like I do (locally), I frequent new ones all the time.  And I always get the same thing, two eggs with grits and a biscuit.  But the waitresses look at me weird, “no meat?”  That’s happened the last four times at least.  It’s as if it’s sacrilegious to not have Waffle House’s sausage in my mouth.  Well, no thanks.

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